One of the problems is that children see adults acting in certain ways and attempt to mirror that behavior. It is up to the adults to change their ways.
As demonstrated in this image, the issue is fraught with many layers. You can peel away one layer to just find another (much like layers of an onion).
Why did people start abusing each other in the first place? It all comes down to one word: Control.
Humans are not completely unique when it comes to sexual abuse. It occurs in the animal kingdom too. And, the same reasons apply. Cattle farmers will normally castrate most of their bulls and leave only one to breed with. This way they don’t have bulls fighting and killing each other. In the wild, the weaker males might go abuse a weaker animal to satisfy its physiological urges. Castrating human males probably would not go over well. Does this mean that there are human males that have to abuse to get their urges satisfied? It seems to be the case. And, it’s not just males that have urges that don’t get met.
But the need to satisfy urges doesn’t fully explain all the ways that people abuse. Why do people shame others for sexual preferences, for touching themselves, or for the way their genitalia appear and push or force genital modifications? It all still comes down to control. It’s not enough that sexuality makes some people uncomfortable in the first place, but sexuality that doesn’t fit the social norms can make some people even more uncomfortable. It’s human to attempt to control our environment to make things as comfortable as possible. This does not stop with being warm.
Economics is another reason. No, not just talking about prostitution. Prostitution could actually have a positive effect on reducing sexual abuse – at least it’s consensual (at least it should be). Genital cutting practices involve money in many ways. Not only do the people that perform the procedure get paid, but the family may depend on their child being genitally modified so that the child can be married off and there is the trade of neonate foreskins (male prepuce). Yes, you heard that right, money is made on the leftovers from “infant circumcisions” (prepuce removal). A quick search for “penis facial” or “Oprah foreskin” will turn up plenty of information.
Fear of superstition (or religious faith) is also at play. If a person wants to follow a certain religious faith and chooses to act a certain way to follow that faith, that is one thing. But, to shame or force those beliefs onto others is abusive.
The desire to conform to societal or tribal norms may also play a role. The desire to be like others and the desire to have others be like yourself.
Cognitive dissonance plays a role in cases where the individual has been told/conditioned throughout their lives that they are better for the abuse they have endured.
Stockholm syndrome plays a role in cases where the individual was abused by those that are supposed to love and care for them.
All of these things can pile up. The more of these things that apply to you, the more difficult it will be for you to accept breaking habits.
Ignorance is another major part. Consider reading Ignorance of Genitalia Perpetuates Sexual Abuse. Psychological impacts are also something that is not a part of the regular discussion or common education.
Re-traumatization keeps people from sharing their stories, thus, others continue to not know that their actions have caused harm. It’s well known that individuals can re-live their trauma psychologically when they revisit the event that caused it. And, to make matters worse, the person may be gaslit when they do share their story. The person may be gaslit by someone else that has been abused because of all the other reasons listed above and/or they feel guilty for being an abuser themselves.
As adults, we have to ask ourselves: “what is the worst that will occur if we just leave everyone else to decide for themselves?” and “can I get my needs met in less abusive ways?” As caretakers of children, how do we teach healthy boundaries?
To address any problem, it’s always best to identify the root cause(s) of the problem first and attack those instead of just removing the individual leaves that grow back.
Here is another article to consider: 9 Reasons the Cycle of Abuse Continues
#consentmatters
Page last updated: March 20, 2022