There are multiple reasons infants and children will touch their genitalia. Humans have long been conditioned to be embarrassed about genitalia and our intimate desires. Even though there has been plenty of proof that sex is healthy, there are many concerns about promiscuity. Consider that telling a child to avoid promiscuous acts will actually increase the chances that they WILL be promiscuous.
Consider the biological development of genitalia. The following image does not show the prepuce, but it demonstrates that human genital development starts with the same parts and those parts only change in size, placement, and function.
The gonads have become testes or ovaries.
The corpus cavernosa and bulb of vestibule either spread out internally (female) or expand outward (male).
Terms used for the same part regardless of sexual assignment include “clitorophallus” and “clitoropenis.”
Much like a kitten’s eyes are still developing after birth, the human genitalia is still developing. The corpus cavernosa and bulb of vestibule will continue to expand after birth. The prepuce is adhered to the glans and the synechia that makes that connection breaks down over time. It is important to not break that connection before the genitalia is ready. The breakdown process may generate sensations that will direct the child to manipulate that area. Of course, it may be that the child needs to use the restroom and they are not listening to their body. In either case, sending them to the restroom would be a better option than shaming them for touching themselves. Teaching children what TO do vs what NOT to do is more likely to be successful.
Furthermore, children entering their pubescent years will naturally get a sexual drive. Shaming them for that drive is an attempt to control their sexuality. Doing so takes away their autonomy, takes away their feelings of being safe, and is as likely to drive them TOWARD sexual deviancy as much as AWAY. There are many books on sexual development.
Page last updated February 8, 2022